Tuesday, April 29, 2008

So I Was Looking At My Traffic Stats...

and I see this:

No. Absolutely not. Printer ink is NOT tattoo ink. It probably isn't even non-toxic, turbo. See, this is the reason there is laser removal, and cover-ups, not to mention infections and other nasty things that happen to skin after putting something in the skin that definitely is NOT tattoo in. Like printer ink.

Come on people, common sense need not be a thing of the past. If you want a tattoo THAT bad, go to someone who KNOWS what they're doing, with real equipment, in a real sterile area.

Thursday, April 24, 2008

Tribal Tattoos

I know what you're thinking. You want to get a "sweet tribal tatty" right? Wrong. Unless you go in and say I want a maori tattoo, or you bring in references and history and meaning about the tribe a certain design means, you are getting blackwork. Here's a quick how to guide.

Go into a tattoo shop, talk to the artists. Don't pick something off the wall, or the internet, most likely someone already has that. Ask them to draw something for you, or better yet, draw something on you. A good artist that knows about muscles and how they move in your body can generally draw you one that will fit your specific body.

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Like Mariah Carey, Only.....Better?


People are wierd. Some people are weird and dumb. Some people are just plain dumb. Yesterday started out fine, and then shit started rolling downhill, like a snowball gathering mass.

First customer that comes in is an eighteen year old kid, wanting his first tattoo. I'm always down for that. But kids, don't start with your neck. You not only limit future employment forever, but you limit yourself other ways too. I tried to convince him that it wasn't the best idea. I say it could keep him out of a job he really wants. His answer? I have a job already. So it's okay. After about half an hour of talking to him, I say fuck it, gotta feed my kids, and do it, shaking my head internally the whole time.
So then, I walk outside to smoke a ciggarette. There's three guys out front of the restaraunt next door (Mama Lee's is THE best soul food ever. EVER.), talking about tattoos. One says that he's thinking of walking in the shop and checking us out. His friend says "No man, don't go there, I gots a friend named 'Dirty Dave' that did my tat fo ten dollas!" Dirty Dave? Ten dollars? No shit? Did it come with free AIDS and hep c as well?
Later, I'm outside again, and this 60ish woman walks up and looks in the door. "is that a LADY getting a tattoo??" she asks. Why I say yes, she says "Seems to me that she'll regret that in a year". I turn, and all the tattoos down my left arm become visible to her. "I don't regret mine" I say, and her eyes get big and she asks "Oh my, do you WORK here?" and walks off.
She comes back later with two kids, takes them to the big window, and starts lecturing them. We ALL wave from in the shop, and she gets scared and walks off.

Good times man, good times.

Monday, April 14, 2008

Kanji Tattoos, and How To Find That Phrase In Latin.

Seriously people, why get a tattoo of something in a language you don't know from a random source on the internet? I can definitly see if it's part of your heritage, has something to do with a larger tattoo (i.e. you have an oriental dragon, holding an kickass orb, a scrool with kanji on it and other badass elements), but why get something so....random? Anyways, my little rant on kanji being over, here's what the post was goingh to be about originally lol.

Tips on finding a tattoo in a different language.

1. Go to the library. Contrary to poular belief, there is plenty of sources more reliable than online translators at a library.

2. Go to a local collage, find a teacher that specializes in languages, or better yet the language you are looking for.

3. Make friends with someone from a country that speaks that language you want as their first language.

4. (one of the most unreliable ways) the internet. Try to find at LEAST three different sources that give the phrase, word, whatever it is you want in exactly the same way. You don't want a menu do you?

In the event that you find what you're looking for, make sure you get it checked out. If you DO find out someday that the beautiful kanji you have that you thought said "love" turns out to mean "lover" meaning "whore", don't come blaming me. I do not speak or write in any other language besides English, and mostly, I pretend I can't even speak that.

Sunday, April 13, 2008

Kosuke "It's Gonna Happen" Fukudome

At a recent baseball game between Chicago Cubs & Milwaukee Brewers, fans of Cub's Kosuke Fukudome (福留 孝介) decided to make some signs to show their support for the Japanese player.


However the phrase they wanted was mistranslated by machine translator seen here.

The resulting 偶然だぞ is not flattering at all and is actually rather insulting, implying that Fukudome’s successes were merely a result of pure chance and not talent at all.

Related: Cubs pull racist fukudome t-shirt

Saturday, April 12, 2008

Spalding's World Class Karate

I saw this ad in my junk mail yesterday for Spalding's World Class Karate.

Upon closer look, there is something not quite right with the logo:

According to its website,

Sensei [Daniel Spalding] was inducted into the U.S.A. Martial Arts Hall of Fame as the "2007 Male Martial Arts Leader Of The Year" and the "American Karate Man Of The Year."

However in United States Martial Arts Hall of Fame website for 2007 inductees, Spalding is not there.

Monday, April 7, 2008

Gas Prices

The price of Gas versus Printer Ink

All these examples do NOT imply that gasoline is cheap; it just illustrates how outrageous some prices are....
You will be really shocked by the last one!
Compared with Gasoline......
Think a gallon of gas is expensive?

This makes one think, and also puts things in perspective.
Diet Snapple 16 oz $1.29 ... $10.32 per gallon

Lipton Ice Tea 16 oz $1.19 ..........$9.52 per gallon

Gatorade 20 oz $1.59 ..... $10.17 per gallon

Ocean Spray 16 oz $1.25 .... $10.00 per gallon

Brake Fluid 12 oz $3.15 ...... $33.60 per gallon

Vick's Nyquil 6 oz $8.35 ... $178.13 per gallon
Pepto Bismol 4 oz $3.85 .. $123.20 per gallon

Whiteout 7 oz $1.39 ....... . $25.42 per gallon

Scope 1.5 oz $0.99 .....$84.48 per gallon

And this is the REAL KICKER...
Evian water 9 oz $1.49..$21.19 per gallon! $21.19 for WATER and the buyers don't even know the source
(Evian spelled backwards is Naive.)
Ever wonder why printers are so cheap?

So they have you hooked for the ink.
Someone calculated the cost of the ink at...............(you won't believe it....but it is true........) $5,200 a gal. (five thousand two hundred dollars)
So, the next time you're at the pump,be glad your car doesn't run on water, Scope, or Whiteout, Pepto Bismol, Nyquil or God forbid, Printer Ink!

Sunday, April 6, 2008

Grim Reapers

So, last night I did the longest sitting on one tattoo that I have done yet. Only 8 hours, but for the kids first thattoo, he sat like a tank (though by the end he was shaking like he had parkinson's and had sat in starbucks drinking double shot espressos all day).
He came in on Friday, with a picture of some tattoo he got off the internet. The picture he brought in was awesome, but it was already on someone, and while it COIULD have been flash, it looked like it was more likely to be a custom design. I will pretty much generally refuse to tattoo something if it's already been tattooed unless it's flash, so I gave it back to him, told him I would draw him something up, and we made an appointment for the next day. Thinking I was going to do it much, much smaller, I told him to bring $450 and we'll call it a deal.
Let's just say I went a little ADD with the design, and it ended up capping his shoulder, all the way to his spine. As I had already told him $450, I said fuck it, I want to do it anyways. I work next to Lackland AFB, and a LOT of my customers are trainees that don't make jack shit. So generally I underprice my work just so I can do the tattoos that they want, and that I want them to do. Anyways, here's the tattoo.

Saturday, April 5, 2008

Mr. Sweet & Sour Pork

Meet Daniel S., aka. Mr. Sweet & Sour Pork,

According to Daniel S., this tattoo was intentional & he was "looking for something humorous, yet also an affront to those people who have supposedly 'deep' meanings in Chinese."

Although it is not incorrect, any serious foodie would know, Sweet & Sour Pork is actually written as 咕嚕肉.

A similar dish is called 酢豚 in Japan.

That is no "Courage"

With two previous posts about the same incorrect tattoo, one would get the hint this does not mean "courage":


Yet this young lady got it done at Skin Gallery in Prairie Du Chien, WI & posted a photo in BME's gallery under the impression that meant "courage".

大過 【たいか】 (n) serious error; gross mistake; big mistake or shortcoming; (punishment in school, etc.) a major demerit.

Tuesday, April 1, 2008

Cross Contamination And You.

Every idiot that thinks they can buy a tattoo machine and start inking up their friends always seems to forgets one key element - the prevention of cross-contamination. This is the part that can make your "clients" really sick or even kill them, but your average scratcher usually doesn't pay any attention to it. As long as they've got a working machine, a needle and some ink, that's all they need to become the next great tattoo artist, right? It's time for a wake-up call, folks.

First of all, what is cross-contamination? The glossary describes it as "the spreading of germs, bacteria and/or disease by carrying them from an infected area to a non-infected area". To make this more simple, let's take a look inside your own home. We'll use the kitchen as an example.

I think most people realize that we can't see germs and bacteria, although we acknowledge that they can be found everywhere. Kitchens are especially prone to these tiny organisms due to the presence of foods that we prepare and eat there. Raw meats are very likely to be contaminated with bacteria such as Staph, Salmonella, and E-coli which can make you very sick if you ingest it.

If you prepare a hamburger tainted with bacteria and then go wash your hands, you have just contaminated the faucet you touched to turn the water on. So the next time you touch that faucet, even if your hands are clean, you re-contaminate your hands. Now if you go and touch someone's plate, they may touch their fully-cooked (and now safe) hamburger on that tiny area you touched and re-contaminate their meat.

If you think this is very unlikely or a little over-the-top, check this out. "The National Center for Health Statistics estimates that between 6.5 million to 33 million cases of food borne illness occur in the United States each year. Worldwide, the numbers grow to staggering proportions...As many as 9,000 people in the United States alone, die yearly."

OK, this has little to do with tattooing or body piercing, right? Wrong. The above was an example of food-borne pathogens - microorganisms that make people sick and die every year from food. The scary thing is, food-borne pathogens are nothing compared to blood-borne pathogens. This is where this article applies to you.

Blood-borne pathogens are the microorganisms that carry infection, Hepatitis, AIDS, and a host of other illnesses. This isn't a little tummy ache from Aunt Sally's bad potato salad we're talking about. These are serious diseases that can be carried in people's blood, many times without them even knowing it. When you tattoo or pierce someone, you come in contact with blood and bodily fluids. If you do not know exactly what to do to prevent those fluids from touching and contaminating any other surfaces, you are putting lives at risk every time you tattoo or pierce someone, including yourself.

When you tattoo someone, everything becomes contaminated. The ink is contaminated, the machine is contaminated, the needle is contaminated, the tube is contaminated, your gloves are contaminated and sometimes even the air around you is contaminated. Your work station is a hazard, your client is a hazard, your equipment are hazards and even that stick of deodorant you use can cross-contaminate from one client to the next. Germs, bacteria and blood-borne pathogens are everywhere. You can't see them, you can't prevent them - the only thing you can do is prevent them from becoming a threat to you and your customers. If you don't know how to do that, then you have no right putting a tattoo needle or piercing needle to anyone's skin, period.

And if you're a client who thinks it's cool that your friend's uncle has a set-up in his kitchen and is willing to give you a really good deal on that tattoo or piercing, you had better listen up. This is why it's more expensive to get a tattoo in a professional studio, because it costs money to properly sterilize equipment and test it for any trace of contamination. If they didn't clean anything, they wouldn't have to charge as much either. But you get what you pay for, people. Go ahead and complain about those high prices - but just remember that every time you get a "deal" on a tattoo or piercing, you're probably putting your life at risk. If you don't think your health and life are worth a few extra bucks, then you agree to accept whatever consequences you endure as a result of your stupidity.
By the way, in case you were thinking that this article was going to actually teach you how to prevent blood-borne pathogen cross-contamination, it's not. That's the job of your mentor when you get a proper appreticeship.