Sunday, February 26, 2006

Asian Font Gibberish 2

In November of 2005, I posted about a racist in Finland tattooed himself with “SANO EI LAKUPEKOILLE”, which is the English equivalent of “say no to niggers”. Instead of just using plain Finnish, the racist idiot got it done in “Asian font” and resulted in complete gibberish.

Today this untitled photo was posted in’s Kanji tattoo gallery. The similarities in both tattoos have led me to believe there are more idiots out there sharing “Asian font”.

Friday, February 24, 2006

"Half Angel Hell"

Reader Henning sent this photo to me.

I could only positively identify two of them, (fairy, immortal) and (earth, ground), out of the five characters.

If the tattoo was supposed to be , it could be loosely translated as “half angel hell”.

Perhaps the tattoo’s owner is a Constantine fan.

Monday, February 20, 2006

Mirrored Freedom

Elena has emailed me these two photos being displayed in a tattoo parlor in Spain. Obviously no one at the shop has realized the photos are shown mirrored.

Let’s hope these are just photograph errors and the actual tattoos were done correctly.


Tattoo Zi You

I don't know what is, but it could be someone's name.

Tattoo Qiao Wa Ni

Friday, February 17, 2006

Ah, commisions.

I have just gotten my first commision for a custom tattoo. A friend of my sisters is going to pay me to do a custom tattoo design for here. I do believe i shall go get on that while it is fresh in my mind.

Mr. Green Thumb

The best translation attempt I can come up with for is "earth knowledge talent power" or "soil expert". The third character in Chinese also means “ruta graveolens”, a type of herb used to keep insects away.

I am not sure if “Mr. Green Thumb” got the tattoo because his agricultural abilities or he thought they are the translation of “Jesus”.

FYI, “Jesus” in Chinese is 耶穌 and イエス in Japanese.

Thursday, February 16, 2006

McDonald's getting sued again.

GASTONIA, North Carolina (AP) -- A woman who said she found blood smeared inside her container of french fries is suing McDonald's Corp. for at least $10,000.


Americans. We are so sue happy. If I break my foot breaking into someone's house, while I stealing their personal valuables, then I am entitled to have them pay for not only my medical bills, but my pain and suffering. While I can slightly understand why this lady went to the doctor, couldn't she have asked the manager at that McDonalds to inquire about any major health issues that employee could have, and then take a bloodtest? Oh, no, privacy. If the manager had done that, then the employee would be suing for millions right now. Why does anything that happens to people in our countries have to end with a lawsuit, instead of two people getting together and figuring out a way to come to terms themselves? I am so tired of these commercials on television exploiting this new American fad, "Did someone have a complete accident in their car that had absolutly nothing to do with you, but you saw it and now your neck hurts? Let us help you sue them!" Ah, when will good old fasion 'Let's settle this ourselves' happen again?

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

I pledge allegiance, to my lawyer...

Prostitutes call for ban on GTA
Sex workers cry foul, say game "accrues points to players for the depiction of rape and murder of prostitutes."

The Grand Theft Auto franchise is getting attacked from all angles. Joining the ranks of politicians, policemen, and attorneys in their crusade to see the game lifted from shelves are the nation's sex workers. On its Web site, the Sex Workers Outreach Project USA is asking parents to assist them in calling for a ban of Take-Two Interactive's controversial game.


What is with this? I don't really like the game anyways, but shouldn't parents be monitoring what their children can and cannot do? Why is everyone so up in arms about a game? I have played violent games, and watched violent cartoons most of my life, and still do, but I am not about to go kill a hooker. Why can't people accept that video games don't kill people, guns don't kill people, but people who have not been raised right, and haven't been taught the right morals DO kill people. Oh and Chuck Norris.

Monday, February 13, 2006

Anti-emo, it comes easily...

I am anti-emo. Most of the people i have to deal with all day at my real job are little whiney, crybaby "I cut myself for fun" kids, that are so depressed....

because mommy and/or daddy won't buy them a Jetta.

Anyways, i do anti-emo artwork for shits and giggles so much, and i just recently finished one that just screamed t-shirt. So this happened. Already it seems to be selling well, and i hope it stays that way. I have had so many run-ins with the crybabies, that emo art is just the most fun thing i draw. Back to the drawing board, quite literally.

Band Camp Girl's Happiness

(thanks to Vince and Ari for the tip and photo)

During a recent interview with American Pie/Wedding Band Camp girl Alyson Hannigan by New York Times' Page Six, it was revealed that Hannigan was unsure about her Japanese “happiness” tattoo.

Q: What does the tattoo on your back say?
A: It's the Japanese symbol for happiness.

Q: Are you sure that's what it is?
A: No, I'm not. I did research it beforehand, and I saw it in two different books, but you never know. In fact, a Japanese woman today asked me if she could see it, and I was a little afraid. I'm like, "Hmmmm - no."

Q: So there's a chance it says something like, "I am a monkey."
A: Yes. "Look how full of sh*t it is that I have this tattoo on."

Luckily for Hannigan, her tattoo is actually written correctly. Although the calligraphy could use some touch-up and could also mean "luck(ily), favor, fortunately, wish".

This which reminded me a quote by Vince Vaughn in Wedding Crashers:

"Tattoo on the lower back? Might as well be a bullseye."

Sunday, February 12, 2006

Moderators who love to flaunt powers

While I certainly understand a rule saying "no posting links to your sites", how is posting a link to a blog breaking this rule? Yes, I have links here, as they pertain to my daily life, and no, they are not all to my Spork designs. So how am I spamming by sharing a part of my life with people I know? They can ban me, I could care less. The website in question is a really fun site, and i got a lot of giggles out of it. But, things must come to an end for everything, and this just may be the end of my stay at Webrats. For all of the rest of you that havent had your Cheerios pissed in, go ahead and give that site a spin. Lots of great porn and people there. Adios mi amigos.

What A Day

So today we did both of my children's birthdays, my son is turning 5 and my daughter just turned 4. We took them to the Gulf Coast Zoo, which is MUCH smaller than I am used to, but nicer, you actually get to get up close and see the animals. I got licked by a giraffe today. There was one monkey, i couldn't name it, but it was almost singing opera, and was so hilarious. Then as we were leaving, we went to the gift shop so my kids could each pick out one item, and i see these monkeys hanging up. All of them were tan, brown, white, dull colors, but right in the middle of them all, there was a blue one. Blue Monkey is my personal symbol of prosperity, and i have done a number of pieces on it, including this one. I had to have it, and shelled out $13 for it. But to me, that is well worth having a blue monkey.

Saturday, February 11, 2006

Ah Friends...

I have some awesome friends. Now, instead of having to type, which looks quite unprofessional, I now have I am blown away by how much support I am getting, through the artist's community at (My DeviantArt), and through myriad awesome people I have met through the years.

My brain is vomiting.

I am an artist currently residing on the beach in Florida, and ever since i moved here, my brain is just flowing with ideas. I don't know if it is the weather, the beach, the Europeans that i work with on a daily basis or what, but its like all that pent up art just exploded from my inner recesses and flowed out on the paper to be seen by the rest of this mad world. For instance, this shirt: Hostage Bunny just came out and lunged onto the paper, and became one of my best t-shirts so far. I hope that these t-shirts grab people, and that others enjoy wearing them as much as I enjoy drawing them.

Friday, February 10, 2006


(full size)

Reader Andre emailed this photo of a local tattoo shop's display case in Leipzig, Germany.

The tattoo suppose to be , which means "antelope", but somehow the first character has then split into two partials.

Saturday, February 4, 2006

Open Letter to Cosmopolitan Magazine

Feb 2006 Cosmo Asian Character Tattoo

Dear Cosmopolitan,

We need to talk.

Over the years, I really appreciated how your magazine and team of experts have taught millions of women how to properly perform fellatio and enjoy the soothing sensation of anal intercourse.

I am surprised to find in your latest issue, you claimed that if a man has an “Asian character tattoo”:

This stud craves mystery in his life, so expect surprises, whether it's a last-minute getaway or an out-of-the-box erotic move. “Since few will know the translation of his chosen character, he relishes the opportunity to explain the hidden meaning behind it," says Green. "He uses the symbol to give people insight into his personality and what he's all about."

Are you f*cking kidding me?

Obviously you have been cooped up inside your office for too long, over-dosing on the complementary chocolates from Godiva, but please do take a look of my site and perhaps read through some of the “Asian character tattoo” owners’ stories…

By the way, there are over a dozen countries in the Asia continent. Most of them have their own writing scripts. What you would call “Asian characters” is actually “Chinese characters”.

Perhaps you could add this tip into your next issue, so we men would not stereotype majority of your female readers as sex objects but human beings with some intelligence.

ps. Will "donut hole" be featured in your next issue?



Brokeback Alpha Dog

I was first informed in November of 2004 about Justin Timberlake’s new movie “Alpha Dog” (opens on Feb. 24, 2006).

Timberlake plays a character named “Frankie Ballenbacher” and the movie is based on the real life of Jesse James Hollywood, a drug dealer who became one of the youngest men ever to be on the FBI's most wanted list.

Why would a hardcore criminal get a tattoo that says “ice skating” on his arm?

Perhaps he is a “brokeback” alpha dog.

Update: Reader Theresa says:

Here's a link to Tinsley Transfers, a company that apparently provides most of Hollywood with its temporary tattoos. It should interest you to see that characters are not only listed as Chinese/Japanese "symbols", but that they are listed under the TRIBAL section of the webpage. Funny, I don't see one that says "Hakka."

Related: Brokeback Hour, Brokeback Heat, Brokeback to the Future, Broke Mac Mountain

Thursday, February 2, 2006

Small Harvest

“Jeff” emailed me asking about this tattoo he got when he was younger. At first he thought it meant “Strength”, he was into Karate at the time. Several recent events have led to him to believe that his tattoo does not mean “strength”.

Both characters are correct.

The character on the left means “small”, “tiny” or “insignificant”, and the other means “livestock” or “domestic animals”.

Although in the classic Chinese literature 易經 (I Ching), there is a mentioning about 小畜:

Hexagram 9 is named 小畜 , "Small Accumulating". Other variations include "the taming power of the small" and "small harvest".

Just what exactly the “small harvest” is about, only “Jeff” would know.