Audrina Patridge's Pork Fried Rice

Thanks to OK! magazine, Defamer, WWTDD & many others for bring this to my attention:





Ms. Audrina Patridge has recently got 豬肉油煎的米 tattooed on her forearm. It is unclear if the tattoo is genuine or some kind of publicity stunt.

However the tattooed phrase is not grammatically correct. What has been tattooed is direct translation from English word-per-word to Chinese of "pork; oil fried; rice grain".

If she wanted "pork fried rice", it should be 豬肉炒飯.

Tyler Durden has summed this up:

"...White people need to knock it off with the Chinese lettering tattoos. I'm a big fan of white people and being white is terrific, but we're kind of dumb, and the overwhelming majority of us don't know how to use Chinese... God only knows WTF she thinks it means. It turns out that guy [tattooist] isn’t an expert on Chinese. Shocking, yes?"

Yes, I Know

that this is my third post today. But I just noticed the google ads on the side of my page. As this is a tattoo blog, filled with images of tattoos I did (and some I didn't do), why is google ads all about laziness? They've always been confused about what to put on my blog apparently. I've seen things about brains on the google ads, I've seen some things that are just completely off the wall...but now....is google trying to tell me something?

Tattoo Aftercare, And What Not To Do.

So you just got a tattoo. You blithely leave the shop and realize that either the artist didn't tell you what to do, didn't CLEARLY tell you what to do, or you didn't listen. So you're trying to figure out what to do. Here's what I tell my clients.

What you'll need:
Aquiphor
Dial antibacterial handsoap (unscented)
unscented, alcohol free, sensitive skin lotion. (I generally give out Eucerin, or Cereve)

Take your bandage off after 45 minutes to an hour. Take a shower (no baths), washing the rest of your body FIRST with whatever you normally use. Then, on the tattoo, use your fingers (no loofahs, washcloths, sandpaper, ect...it'll hurt like a bitch) to wash your new tattoo using a circular motion. Try to use rather warm water, the warmest you can stand, but not OHMYGODMYSKINISMELTINGOFF hot.when done, rinse, letting the water hit your skin ABOVE the tattoo, not directly on it, and then switch to cold water. Using warm water opens your pores, letting excess ink that isn't in the right layer of skin out, and then cold water closes your pores. Pat your tattoo dry with a clean towel, and then apply a very thin layer of the Aquiphor, just enough to cover the tattoo, but not stifle it. Kind of glisteny, but never shiny like you just took a vaseline bath. Use the Aquiphor for the first three days plus the day you got the tattoo, about 3-4 times a day. In other words, do it the day you get the tattoo, and then the next three days. Try to take at least a shower a day, and if you think your tattoo is dirty, it is. Wash it.
Now, three days have past, so put your aquiphor to the side, as you can use it on your next tattoo, and many others as well, and go to lotion. Try to put the lotion on 4-6 times a day, or whenever your tattoo is looking kinda dry. Your tattoo will peel, flake, it may have scabbed. Do not pick at your tattoo. Once again, do NOT pick at your tattoo. And also, here comes the worst part of ever getting a tattoo, worse than the linework, worse than the shading. It will itch. It will itch so badly that you want to rip your skin off. Do not scratch your tattoo. You could fuck it up. Once it is done peeling, generally it's done healing. If it is a particularly awesome piece, this is when you go back to your artist so they can look at it, and take healed pictures. We appreciate that.

Now, any questions? Feel free to email me. Supernummy@gmail.com
I don't care if I have never met you, even if I did not do your tattoo, I don't mind shooting you an answer to a question about your healing tattoo. But generally, it is best to ask your artist, unless you got the tattoo in a house by your uncle's best friend's wife's son's homie.

This is what can happen with improper care of a tattoo:




Oh, and before you ask, neosporin, vaseline, triple antibiotic are your enemies when it comes to healing tattoos. Don't do it.

A Gift

I finally took the time to sit down and finish something for my husband. Between working and kids, projects I start as gifts for my husband always seem to end up on the backburner, and finally rolled up in a tube, forgotten in some dark drawer.
Yesterday was a pretty slow day, so I finally just drew something for him. Aphex Twin helped me out.

This is his drawling.

Washington

Reader Welton from Brazil sent in a photo of his friend's tattoo. It supposed to be his name "Washington".



However according to Alan, this tattoo is wrong in several levels:

First of all, the name Washington is usually written ワシントン [washinton] rather than ウォシントン [woshinton] as was presumably intended by the tattooist.

Next, someone left out the first ン, leaving only ウォシトン [woshiton]. Then, they used the large オ rather than the small ォ, making the tattoo actually spelled ウオシトン [uoshiton], so I guess it would be pronounced sort of like the English words "Whoa Shit On." That's probably not quite what Mr. Washington wanted when he got his tattoo...

And finally, they left out one stroke in オ, making the character look more like the character 七 but backwards.

It's sort of sad that people don't check these things before getting a huge tattoo that covers their whole arm.